Being a grownup is not nearly as fun as I thought it would be when I was a teenager. I saw freedom and adventure and a sense of accomplishment. What I have is worries: money worries, family worries, job worries, car worries - I could go on but most of you are probably all too familiar with this list and have one of your own. Added to my list of worries is chronic pain. I'm not the only one, not by far. I'll get to that in a moment.
Some Background
I have fibromyalgia, but there are many different reasons for chronic pain. There are also other reasons one may not function at 100% even though they look fine. I don't have nearly the difficulty that other people have, and for that I'm grateful. Saying that, there are day to day activities that are difficult. For some reason, spending too long on any one task is the worst. I feel just fine, I do the dishes and halfway through, I can barely move due to lower back pain. Being a grown up, I push through and get it done and move on to the next chore. Being a grown up, no one cares. No one is going to say, "Way to go - do those dishes, good job!" Most members of the household won't even notice what you did. What do I do? I stroke my own ego. I pat myself on the back. I tell myself - way to go. I don't usually celebrate mediocrity, but some days there is nothing mediocre about what I accomplish compared to how I feel.
Inspiration
I'm not alone. There are others doing way more than me, with more health issues than me. They are my inspiration. I can look to my sister, with rheumatoid arthritis, who never stops! If she's not working with children with special needs at her job, she's doing yard work with her husband, taking care of our Papa or cutting hair for her friends. My dad's wife is another great example. Her knees cause her terrible pain, but she keeps her house spotless, cooks wonderful meals, and invites the grand kids over. My grandma is pretty awesome too. She goes to family reunions, still drives herself around, watches her great grand baby, and cheers me up when I'm low. They never look for kudos or a pat on the back, and they probably don't know what great role models they are to me, but they are.
The Point!
What can you do for friends and loved ones that have a chronic or invisible illness? Ask them how they're doing. It feels good when people listen. Jump in and do something nice for them, don't make them ask, because they won't. Remember, if they don't want to go somewhere or if they cancel on you, it's the illness not that they are flakes. If they are close friends, loved ones, or family, read about their condition or illness. Be informed so you can empathize with them and understand them. They don't need a pat on the back, but understanding and caring go a long way!