Most of the time, I love the little light bulb, "AHA" moments that I'm granted at random. Sometimes, though, they make me quite sad. Today was for sad "AHA"s.
My daughter is 15 and I'm missing it. I have been blessed to share a close relationship with my daughter, a child who is open and honest with me. This year, for stability since we would be moving about, she has stayed at my sister's to go to high school. Now she wants to finish her last two years at that school as well. This would mean staying with her aunt and uncle. I love that she loves her school. I love that we have family that she feels close to and that will give her a place to live, if need be. But I wasn't planning on losing her so soon. I still had things I wanted to do with her, things I wanted to talk to her about. I loved getting to know her friends and touching base with her daily. I miss her hugs and constant compliments, telling me how beautiful I am. I'm not ready for her to leave home just yet. I'm not afraid of her going off to school at 18, but I do fear her leaving at 15. Yes, she's close by, but 45 minutes may as well be 15 hours away when she will be busy with all her friends and activities. I could go on and on about this but I will leave it here and revisit it soon enough.
My two oldest boys are young men. And they like girls. And they should. And I have to ask myself, "Have I taught them how to treat girls with respect? Have I taught them to be thoughtful and honest?" I don't know. I don't remember doing it, but my memory is not what it used to be. Luckily my children remember many conversations that I don't, so all I can hope is that anything I've left out, I will have taught in my actions. Is it too late to teach them more? I hope not. What about their friends? Do they treat them with respect? Do they stick up for the underdog? Do my boys feel their worth? Society today worries so much about young women knowing their worth but do my boys? Do they know how intelligent, funny, handsome and wonderful they are? I hope so because I think all of that and more about them.
I enjoy motherhood now more than I did ten years ago. This causes me some guilt. I enjoyed my children ten years ago, don't get me wrong. But I can't say I enjoyed motherhood. I can make all kinds of excuses as to why I didn't, however, that isn't really the point is it? I am more relaxed now. I am better able to find humor in things that used to bother me. I even enjoy tedious tasks like homework with the kids. Having two more kids five years after my first three has given me an entirely different perspective. Am I a better mom to them? I don't think so. I am a different mom. I don't know why, but it perplexes me.
These were the musings in my brain today. One would think that I must have had a very depressing day. I didn't. It was simply a day in which I had more time to ponder on things than I usually do. What 'AHA" moments have you had recently?
My daughter is 15 and I'm missing it. I have been blessed to share a close relationship with my daughter, a child who is open and honest with me. This year, for stability since we would be moving about, she has stayed at my sister's to go to high school. Now she wants to finish her last two years at that school as well. This would mean staying with her aunt and uncle. I love that she loves her school. I love that we have family that she feels close to and that will give her a place to live, if need be. But I wasn't planning on losing her so soon. I still had things I wanted to do with her, things I wanted to talk to her about. I loved getting to know her friends and touching base with her daily. I miss her hugs and constant compliments, telling me how beautiful I am. I'm not ready for her to leave home just yet. I'm not afraid of her going off to school at 18, but I do fear her leaving at 15. Yes, she's close by, but 45 minutes may as well be 15 hours away when she will be busy with all her friends and activities. I could go on and on about this but I will leave it here and revisit it soon enough.
My two oldest boys are young men. And they like girls. And they should. And I have to ask myself, "Have I taught them how to treat girls with respect? Have I taught them to be thoughtful and honest?" I don't know. I don't remember doing it, but my memory is not what it used to be. Luckily my children remember many conversations that I don't, so all I can hope is that anything I've left out, I will have taught in my actions. Is it too late to teach them more? I hope not. What about their friends? Do they treat them with respect? Do they stick up for the underdog? Do my boys feel their worth? Society today worries so much about young women knowing their worth but do my boys? Do they know how intelligent, funny, handsome and wonderful they are? I hope so because I think all of that and more about them.
I enjoy motherhood now more than I did ten years ago. This causes me some guilt. I enjoyed my children ten years ago, don't get me wrong. But I can't say I enjoyed motherhood. I can make all kinds of excuses as to why I didn't, however, that isn't really the point is it? I am more relaxed now. I am better able to find humor in things that used to bother me. I even enjoy tedious tasks like homework with the kids. Having two more kids five years after my first three has given me an entirely different perspective. Am I a better mom to them? I don't think so. I am a different mom. I don't know why, but it perplexes me.
These were the musings in my brain today. One would think that I must have had a very depressing day. I didn't. It was simply a day in which I had more time to ponder on things than I usually do. What 'AHA" moments have you had recently?